CIRCLES

As I have not blogged for a while and I am unable to continue my on line study with the Open University as the site seems to have gone down for 10 minutes. I figured I would throw a quick post in.

Yes it is that time of the year again. Assessments and Exams. Lovely. Some might say. After 30 weeks and over 60 something hours of work, if you don’t know it now, you never will! But not me I plan on cracking this one wild open. Confident? Nah denial my friends!

Posting a blog as been something I have wanted to do a lot recently. I said at one time or another that I feel better when I have blogged. That, ‘blogging it out’ is almost a personal therapy for the mental process. Unfortunately I have not been able to blog about more recent disturbing and emotional turmoil events in my life. I have at times blogged about personal issues and had no problem letting the world see what is going on in my head, in my life. 

However, this time although I am within the middle of it all, it is not me that is directly affected. (Something I have come to admit more recently) yes the events have my opinions and emotions twisted up but I feel it is not something I can blog about. And not really out of any respect to person or persons involved as some of you might know what I am talking about. and know I wouldn’t piss on some people if they were on fire. So sadly I can not vent and rant and moan and whine on about shit that is happening right now ( in that department)

What I can tell you is that I have felt down and rubbish because of ‘ stuff’ but has my dip in mood been  because I am not blogging out my venting annoyances? This leaves me whirling around in circles. I think I need to talk shit out. I need to vent and moan and groan (<- I spelt that right this time.) I have often taken a great deal of pleasure in taking the piss out of my self... hey wait a minute who stole my fucking sense of humour? In fact who stole my mojo, libido and my self esteem for that matter? I miss myself and my wicked humour at times. I miss the sunshine. What the fuck with all this rain I normally have a nice amount of sun damage to my skin by now. (Ok the moaning seems to be helping, it just flows out. My fingers just want to rant rant rant. )

I bet the OU website is up now and I should go back to understanding psychology and about quantitative and qualitative research!

Exam’s are at the end of the month and then day school in June. I have not had much time to write for pleasure and I guess this too has something to do with my mood. My confidence took a bash after my book was riddled with mistakes. Seemed every one I spoke to after that would then tell me of more mistakes. Thank you! Yes I took it all a bit personally. It hurt and it frustrated me as it was not something I could simply change on the spot. After many revisions of the book, the copy on sale now at lulu and Amazon should be almost mistake free but at this point if it has a mistake, bollocks! I have not made anything from writing the book about my son. I have paid out more than anything. And the little revenue I did get was not enough to buy a pack of fags. I did it for the love. I know now what I did wrong and I happened to learn the hard way – live it- learn it- so when I do get round to finishing part two. I will know what to do and what not to do.

But first back to the studying……