It took me 25 minutes to move from laying down to sitting up on the edge of my bed. I then sat on my bed for a further 20 minutes before laying back down and pulling the cover over my head. Absolutely dying to go a wee, gagging for a fag and a drink, need to take some pills and get breakfast for my kids. Yet in my bed is where I want to be. No motivation, no real desire and no drive. No wonder I am single.
The sun is out the sky is blue. I have a couple of quid in my pocket. I have exam results to pick up- finally the wait is over! But fuck it I'll stay in bed, I'll break my promise to my son, I will ignore my ever increasing need to go to the toilet and I will submit to the bad day. No wonder I am single.
I am still laying down blogging from my phone as I feel so utterly shit and the time ticks on and the more and more i need to wee and need a drink and want a fag and need to take my pills, more and more I feel guilty at the thought of letting my son down, I feel disappointed in myself as I read back my poorly written words and hating my self pity, and lack of love for life.
However, the hour since the first awaking of self and now feeling a bit more motivated and feeling the urge to kick today's butt!
Thinking I am going to get my exam results as want to confirm I passed. Going to keep my promise to my son as if I fail at everything else in life I would like to think I tried to be the best mum I could be. So going to press send and share, fling my covers off and chew up Thursday like a stone cold mother fucker! Thanks for the chat! I feel better now.....
Sent from my iPhone
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