THE PULL OF DARKNESS

There are dates in the year that I can not ignore. 

I dream of you now and then.

Your face almost looks like a question mark.

Maybe your time in my life didn't make sense.

It still kind of doesn't.

I know you were put there for a reason and I looked for the most obvious answers yet they were not meant to be. 

I still wonder about you but pain past felt allows the idea that what ever might be right now is your own fault.

 I think this is my way of helping me not feel reasonable for you.

Time passed by and memories of you fade out.

I met someone, his not that dissimilar to you only younger and taller and about 80% less of an arsehole.

I moved on passed any other milestones that were previously in place. With his help I found a nice tidy yet sometimes bumpy path on the other side of the dark, shadowy woods. 

Part of me hopes that you find your way out at some point...

 But I can't look back any more.

I can not hold on to comfort in darkness.

Looking back is easy and can appear as something that is safe as its familiar.

But the view is dark and not very hopeful.

Maybe you were there just to keep me company and you had to stay in that place while I HAD to get out?

Maybe misery really dose like company?

Is there something comforting about that place? Yes!

Could it of been you? Perhaps! 

Do I ever want to go back? No!

So this is me waving goodbye.

Goodbye to that place and goodbye to you old friend.

I don't mind being reminded of what I have overcome - Even if that had a connection to you.

I am grateful for your company and in some sick way you helped me find my way out the darkness. 

I am sure my thoughts will roam to you at times.

But don’t be mistaken as this will only be in a way that helps me see the light and happiness ahead. 

Melissa Laws