Melissa Vs. Mel

Melissa vs. Mel

 

I am going to attempt to break down my personality. There is always a core part of me. I will refer to this core (never changing) part of me as ME.

 

Let's start with Melissa. Melissa represents the sound, grounded, respectful part of my main person. Melissa is a persona - an ego of sorts. You have all met Melissa. Melissa is the girl turned woman that you see at family events and on a one to one basis. Melissa will often be well presented and polite.

 

Melissa is the driven part of me that wants to make people happy always looking for acceptance. Melissa wants to be seen as good and well adjusted. Melissa is the daughter anyone would be proud of. Melissa is smart and funny and easy going I would go as far to say this is a core part of ME. Melissa wants to do the right thing and wants to make her family proud. Melissa wants to be truthful to all around her, Melissa has tact.

 

 

Mel - Mel also represents a part of my core ME mimicking traits of Melissa but has a different agenda as an ego. Mel doesn’t want to please others she wants to please herself. Mel doesn’t care - or at lease tries very hard to not show others that she might or might not to care about other people's feelings. You might have met Mel at some more recent family events. More so, on a one to one. Mel try's to be honest but is often in core debate about it. Honesty normally prevails as ME. Mel is more self preserving. Mel will be reckless and spontaneous. Mel will do the things she wants. You did meet Mel as a teenager! Mel would rather live life without regret than regret living life. Mel is fun. But only in small doses. Mel can sabotage happiness. Mel's fun self can feel suffocated and want to be set free. Again self persevering. Mel doesn’t want to be or won't be beaten down.

 

I have probably shown good and bad aspects of both Mel and Melissa and while in therapy I have often asked myself who would win?!?

 

I have come to see that neither Mel or Melissa are inherently bad but merging both together and working on the harsher parts whist being honest about what I want and need. Putting time aside for me and others is feasible. Being fun but not stupid is achievable. Being honest but respectful is taxing but is doable. Not living my life like its being watched and judged is something I am working on. portraying a life and personality that is perfect, absolutely unrealistic and unachievable!

But.. Why do I worry so much about what people think? What they think of what I do or did or what I might do next. Did I mention Mel was a narcissist??

 

 

 

More soon……….

Mel