HEEL-IN-THE-GROUND

Healing the ground?

Hill in the ground?

Heel! in the! ground!

Oh that sinking feeling….

Wearing heels! I was recently at a party where a lot of the ladies there were wearing some fantastic heels. Now a lot of guys don’t give to shits about shoes. Some on the other hand like heels a little bit too much! Myself, like a lot of women, (I’m sure) like a nice pretty pair of shoes. It’s not always about comfort. It can be as simple as, ‘I just like how I feel about myself when I am wearing them. I like how they look, I like how they look on me, I like how they sound and as long as I am not standing in them constantly for 2-3 hours, I like how they feel.’  However, that said standing on anything other than concert in heels becomes a fucking Olympic sport. Weddings, christenings, bar-b-q's!  Dare thou lady eve to wear heels, because you will simply sink into the grassy ground. Fucking ball ache, ever wondered why there is always a huddle of women standing together at functions? They are there because the ground don’t try and suck the heels under ground! Other woman in flat comfortable shoes may well think, ‘bitches all talking about other woman over there,’ no ladies, just some solid ground. Other wise, we have the, walking away while your shoe is still stuck into the ground, setting off and your bare foot stepping onto the damp, yucky soil – yummy. Or... the walking away while your 50 pound shoe remains stuck into the ground and you fall head first on to the grass... classic - a true Melidiot moment! ( make sure you have your cameras handy) or.. Better still, there is, knowing that your heel is stuck into the ground and having to steady yourself on someone else while you pull that fucker out. Then! To make things worse, having a man say something in a completely wanker way of course, ‘Why did you choose to wear them stupid shoes anyway?’ dontcha just wanna slap em! Hard, perhaps, hit them…. with your shoe!

It is not that I possess a many pair of shoes. No no no, over the years I have just been able to collect a few pairs, sales ECT… I have shoes that are older than 5 years old! Many family members may or may not remember me wearing heels at functions. I feel comfortable in heels as most the male members of the family are over 6 foot, wearing heels is ideal to not feel like a shortie. I have had red ones, black ones, blue ones, beige ones, ( loved them till they broke, they cost me 5 quid!) even white ones because I am an Essex girl – it would be rude not to. I have noticed that wedges are now back in fashion, which pleases me as I have a few pairs of them, from 6 years ago! They are not so easy to be pulled in to the ground! Oh how I miss my black wedges! I wore those shoes to my brothers wedding in 2000, and last year they broke! Not fair! They had a good long life but I was not willing to give up on them, so my father and I tried to fix them, a couple of times. (‘No nails’ glue and such home made fix it remedies)  I took them to a shoe mender and even he said he couldn’t fix them but made them able to be worn one last time (maybe) I took the risk and I was at the wedding not 10 minutes when the heel broke clear off! Mother fucker. I had to walk around all fucking night awkward because I only had one heel, on one foot! Wasn’t like I could take them off either! (Grown at the memory!) Even though those black wedges died a magnificent death. I still have not had the balls to throw them away. They still wait in the wardrobe for some miracle in shoe mending.

That completes my random shit, 11.30 pm inspired blog for this evening. I hope that everyone had a most wonderful weekend. Be safe to you all.

Blog ya later!