Mr.D- How has your week been Mel?
Mel – reasonable thanks and yours?
Mr.D – uneventful really. Have you been back to the Dentist?
Mel- Nope
Mr.D – ahh OK
Mel- going on Friday (smile)
Mr.D – ha ha ha
Mel- having inappropriate thoughts of people I don’t know makes my day more interesting Mr.D, you know that.
Mr.D – do you think having inappropriate thoughts of people you don’t know is healthy?
Me- humm…. (Pause) not now that you asked that question, in the tone that you asked it!
Mr.D- It is not uncommon to have thoughts like the ones you have. However, most people keep them as thoughts. You appear to enjoy letting people know your thoughts.
Mel- mmmaybe. You would not be the first person to say I seem to say what most people are thinking. Maybe I should keep my thoughts to myself.
Mr.D- that is interesting.
Mel – oh here we go! I’ll bite Mr.D – why, why is that interesting?
Mr.D – you like to shock people (smile)
Mel- is that a statement or a question?
Mr.D- an observation.
Mel- maybe I am just tired of pussyfooting around the world’s ignorance. (Pause) … I only do it around people I trust (laugh)
Mr.D- (pause) trust, yes, did you happen to resolve that friendship we spoke about at the end of last week’s session?
Mel- (grunt)
Mr.D I take it that it did not go so well?
Mel – nope. I have a question.
Mr.d – Avoidance! (Smile) – But OK what is the question?
Mel- is there some psychological meaning behind wanting and needing the TV remote?
Mr.D – slightly random but interesting question. Do you feel you need to have the TV control or is it simply that you want it?
Mel- it is mine, thus give it here biatch! (Laugh)
Mr.D- Mocking! - If you wanted to look at it, you could see some power issue with the remote but I know you are just diverting. So tell me what happened?
Really!! You think there is a power play to having to have the TV remote? I call it having TV remote privileges!!
The following session....
Mr.D- How has your week been Mel?
The following session....
Mr.D- How has your week been Mel?
Mel – different thanks and yours?
Mr.D- same really, different?
Mel- I have been writing a lot recently due to the thing we spoke about.
Mr.D- yes of course. Have you smoked any since we spoke that day?
Mel- no, I haven’t. I posted some writing on my blog that gave me the chance to receive a lot of feedback. Some very positive and a small part negative.
Mr.D- Did you have trouble receiving the negative feedback?
Mel- not about my writing, it was the subject matter. I wrote about being in an abusive relationship. The writing was so good; people seemed to believe I was drawing from personal experience.
Mr.D- how did that make you feel?
Mel- good and bad, I feel like I offended people with the subject matter. I considered taking the post off but was advised by close friends and family not to. Even now, it is still the most read post on my blog (smile)
Mr.D- I see you’re happy about this. but I want to remind you once again what the smoking of cannabis can do to you. I can see you don't like this but you could have a mental reaction to the drugs and have to be committed into hospital. you need to stop!
Mel- I know. Anyway..I have questioned my writing abilities for a very long time. The more I feel I am good enough, the more I am likely to finish the book.
Mr.d- We will come back to the smoking as I find it Interesting that you used the phase ‘good enough’
Mel- good enough not to be laughed out of a publishing office
Mr.D- I understand. That must be a little frustrating that there are some subject matters you feel the need to stay clear of on the online blog?
Mel- The only subject I tend to avoid is sex. But I did blog about faking orgasms, spunk and my lack of sex life. (Snigger)
Mr.D – again with the shock factor.
Mel- not at all. We all live in the same world. What happens to me can’t only happen to me. I guess I feel safe enough to express myself without judgment or offending people.
Mr.D-firstly didn’t you just express a concern of offending readers with the subject matter?
Mel- being punched in the head by a partner and expressing sexual needs don’t even fit in the same box Mr.D
Mr.D- p-p-please don’t get defensive, you do make a good point. Secondly, you said safe enough. You find safety within posting your blog?
Mel- I do. For me, it is what having your own blog all is about. A place for your thoughts, feelings, worries, piss taking remarks, rants, questions. People have a choice to not want to read it as much as they have a choice to carry on reading it. If that makes sense.
Mr.D- total sense, I am glad that you find writing a healthy outlet.
Mel- yea I blog about our chats as well
Mr.D- I am sorry, what do you mean?
Mel- I post yours and my chat’s pretty much word for word on my blog.
Mr.D- YOU DO WHAT?!!!???
Oppz... psh shock factor -_-
… I will let you know what happened……. next time J
Reading your post and conversations with Mr.D reminded me of the one time I called the Samaritans – at this point I’d like to clarify that at the beginning of the conversation with the Samaritans I was not feeling suicidal!
ReplyDeleteI’ll set the scene without boring the pants off you It was summer, I was 24 and had not long had my second child. Hubby, child one and child two all lived in a two bedroomed maisonette in one of four blocks that consisted of ten flats. The bottom level were single bedroomed flats whilst the upper level, two bedroomed maisonettes. In the lower level opposite us lived a single mother to a toddler, he couldn’t have been more than two and over a period of two weeks I’d seen a man arrive and the child be put outside for a period of 30 – 45 minutes on two occasions. As you can imagine I was a little concerned but having been a single parent myself I didn’t want to call the police or social services and be the reason the mother lost her child. Of course every part of me knew it would be the right thing to do but I wanted to talk it through with someone. Hubby was at work, kids were both very young so I called the Samaritans for a bit of advice. This is a rough outline of how the conversation went, from memory of an incident some 17 years ago….
Samaritans: Hello, my name is xxxx, would you like to tell me your name?
Me: My name is xxxxx and I’d like a bit of advice (at which point I regal details of the current situation)
Samaritans: Does this situation make you feel suicidal?
Me: Not at all, I’m simply looking for advice on how I handle the situation
Samaritans: Do you think that how you choose to handle the situation will make you feel suicidal?
Me: I don’t think so – I might feel bad if I don’t do the right thing?
Samaritans: And if you don’t do the right thing do you think you will feel suicidal?
And so the conversation continued for about 15 minutes before I finally put the phone down and slit my wrists! No seriously, you’re conversations with Mr D remind me of mine with the Samaritans lol
did the post make you feel suicidal?
ReplyDeletelol
Actually, come to think of it - now where are those paracetamols and where did I leave the rope?
ReplyDeleteGreat post - made me realise why I love(d) my blog.
ReplyDeleteouch lol
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this post. Its always a bit of a shock to people, when you mention that you've blogged about them.
ReplyDelete