OH I DON'T KNOW...

My dad and I have many funny and amazing conversations some might say I am a lot like my dad some … may not. However, one thing my dad and me have in common is that we both smoke. (At this moment in time he had given up – I think) anyway, and as both smokers we often take a defensive stance when the constant opinion is said about how unhealthy smoking is.

As you well know, according to research heart disease is still the biggest killer in the UK and the world as a whole. Smoking, which is one of the contributory factors of lung and heart diseases and is responsible for one in ten deaths worldwide.

The growing problem with obesity in adults and children is equally as important. An example of my own child’s ignorance; He did pester me to give up smoking. So I have tried many times. He praised me for not smoking on this particular day. I had asked him before hand, why he doesn’t want mummy to smoke and true to form he stated, ‘it will give you cancer and you will die.’ In the next breath, can we go to Mac Donald’s? Imagine my frustration when I hear my child say, ‘don’t smoke because it will/can kill you.’ but scoffing down a big Mac and fries, clearly won’t. I am over weight and it is killing me daily, my body is shot to shit and I know it. I try so hard to develop a healthy life style, like most I am sure.

A lot of people might not see the difference I am trying to emphasize here.

Both my dad and I quickly ask the question...

Is there a, heart disease, stroke, clogged artery warning on a stick of butter? Is that not as dangerous to health as a pack of fags? Oh I don’t know! I am ranting!

But it did make me think while I stood in Tesco looking at cat food. The words ‘get the dry food as it is better for them.’ Was ringing around in my mind. Then I think, better for them how exactly? Will it help them concentrate at ‘cat school’? No wait it will help them get a better job? It will cause me less trips to the vets? The same way eating healthy, not smoking, drinking and doing drugs will prevent me from getting any kind of breast, ovarian, cervical, or brain cancer, dementia, Multiple sclerosis (MS) or Parkinson's disease!

Right of course.

It will help them have less stinky poop? Ohh I get it, they will live longer! I am prolonging their life by buying dry food and not wet food? Got it!  Is that the same as you can’t mix your SMA baby milk and leave in the fridge for 24 hours now? You have to mix it before you feed your infant. Years passed and many a parent, me included, did in fact make bottles and they lasted 24 hours. Was that unhealthy for my child back then? If so who can I sue? Wet food for cats as been around for as long as I can remember so what is different now? Have they found out that wet food reduces the life span of a cat? Having taken some time to look up the main causes for cats to die, I can report that the main cause is trauma... then heart disease.

Cats also play the game of life with a fist full of chance. Just like us. But while I was in Tesco I did pick my children up some tasty treats and something nice for dinner. When I treat my children to occasion take away, Mac Donald’s, biscuit, sweet or treat am I then lessening their life span?  I may well be rolling on about utter bollocks but I guess the question was in my head so I felt the need to get it out.

In an ideal world we would all eat right and live a healthy life style and this would be seen as having a better advantage of living longer. You would think. Sadly for me I am not sure it works as simple as that. I have seen smokers live into their late 80’s and non smokers, healthy people die before they hit 50. There is a grey area here for me. I guess I have managed to rationalise it by telling myself, you just don’t know when it is your time to go. (I need a map to the ideal world thank you very much...Oh I don’t know!)

Rant concluded at 10.30am

Mel

(References)The places I looked

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1476412/pdf/canvetj00001-0065.pdf

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7151813.stm

http://fullfact.org/blog/cause_of_death_statistics_health_mortality-2866

WOOKIE

Click on Chewbacca

Most people will know this noise, it is classic!  And as most parents to a teenager will know, the new English is.. infact...grunts and noises that often sound like wookie. ( or kevin and perry) This wookie sound is the sound I have started to make back at my son, when things don’t go right and other annoying moments in life.

To name but a few

…Wookie moan number one,... waking up from a codeine induced nap with bed hair, running from the house to then notice in the rear view mirror that my hair is wild. Happy to notice it was raining so I pulled off bad hair in a truly impressive manner. –WOOKIE-

..Wookie moan number 2, having exited my car very quickly I did not tuck my seat belt in and so it was hanging outside the car all day, all raining day long. –WOOKIE-

.... Wookie moan number 3, my favourite CD starts to jump around and then stop.  Nice! Nice and scratched. –WOOKIE-

… the teacher asking for a ‘quick word’ –WOOKIE- ............More wookie another time ( we love you chewwieeee )

*cough*

People might be aware that if you drop your child off late at school 3 or more times, they do flag you and send out a letter just reminding you to make sure you make more effort to get your child to school on time. In terrific melidiot fashion, I am sometimes late and so I have to sign in the book, with a reason.

My top reasons for being late

‘I am not late YOU’RE early.’

‘Red, light, red light, red light and stupid people.’

I was busy updating my face book status.’

You could ask yourself, did I really write these reasons or did I simply write, ‘Traffic or running late.’??  

So if you had not guessed I often yell –SHABBA- for good things and –WOOKIE- for the bad. I think this saves me shouting out vulgar language J

Mel

FLUFF

*** WARNING FUCKING WANKING SWEARFEST****

Waking up on a wanky wet Wednesday and not feeling so well. How long do you need to help decide the mood of the day, an hour perhaps?  I am not sure but what I can tell you this, Wednesday was one wanky cock sucking day.

Wet and shit outside feeling crap and low inside. I struggle to get out of bed. I do finally make it up and hate just hate how I feel. In a lame attempt to feel more human I sit at my computer with my S.A.D lamp. I fluff around with my face book games for a short while before the Internet slows down just enough to deliberately annoy the crap out of me.

I recently blogged about having two ‘jobs’ I hate, shopping and ironing. POST ...These jobs seem to be unavoidable and I loath the tasks. I can honestly say I have a new found hatred for a now daily task that I can not avoid and better yet, I brought this one on by my self… please take some time to read my blog ....I LOVE YOU BUT... 

So this daily task needed to be done...the litter tray 

There is a 12.30pm o'clock appointment at the dentist for my son. So I get to the school at 11.55.

Yes a nice £70, ‘Go fuck yourself.’ ticket. The painful thing was the guy was just sticking it to my windscreen as I ran to the car. 12.02pm took the school 5 minutes to collect him from his class!

COCKSUCKERMOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

I rip the ticket from my screen as I shout, ' thank you' in the most polite way and jump into my car. fighting the desire to scream profanities at him and or reversing into the front of his van I then pull away.

Like I haven't got enough money issues right now that, wanker! Although he was just doing his wanky job, he just caused my day some more moody Melidiot. So off to the dentist…with the major league arsehole!

This day has got to get better right?

Its not even 1 pm and I am ready to call it quits!

I get home and I try not to think about the ticket and the shit and anything else that could tip me over the edge. Alas the angel of, ‘funny cunt’ sits on my shoulder today and then texts start coming in to my phone from a not so wanted number. Wanting to turn my phone off I am unable to.

I leave the phone in the kitchen and lay on the sofa taking deep breaths with a pillow over my head. I some how managed to drop off to sleep, I felt the kittens crawling over me and then they stopped. Figured they had buggered off. It wasn’t long before my phone rang a tone that made me fly up off the sofa to answer it. Unknowingly the kittens were laying on me and they had their claws hooked into me before they yelped and fell to the ground. Let it be said now, that the saying that all cats land on their feet, is total bollocks! ( they will probably do more shits tonight as a form of punishment!)

I get to my phone only to find out my phone is only slightly fucked and no one can hear me when I answer it or make a call.

W.W.W.W.W.WANKERRRRRRRRR

Dinner with the kids, stories, puzzles, baths and then bedtime for the kids. Which any parent knows comes with it own level of stress. Only having one nerve and everyone dancing on it not helping but I make it through.

A further attempt to chill the fuck out I sat down to watch one of my favourite programmes I have recorded on the sky box, yep you guessed it – recording failed

WANKER! GO FUCK YOURSELF!

Not giving into the angry monster that is almost ripping at my skin to come out I settle for a nice hot bubble bath.

And in true, ahhh yes, I have a teenager in the house form… NO MOTHER FUCKING WANKING HOT WATER!!

COCKSUCKERMOTHER FUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I climbed into bed and cried. After a while I picked up the phone and called my mum for a chat and amazingly I felt so much better and I didn’t moan too much on the phone. Thanks mum J

oh and I have my job interview on Sunday... stay
tuned! 

I LOVE YOU BUT....

You might have seen the cute pictures of my little kittens Holly and Molly. If you have not, please click HERE to see their pics. ( might need to scroll down a little) They are so cute and so funny. 

In a recent post called WRINKLED I stated I hated ironing and shopping. I can truly say I would take shopping and ironing all day long over dealing with the cat litter tray! Oh, and their fucking disgusting smelling food!

Each and every day I hold my breath or breathe through my nose to dish up their, ‘Succulent meat in jelly.’ whilst trying not to puke at the smell and sight of it. I have never been cat foods biggest fan due to an incident at college back in 1995, but felt after a while it wouldn’t bother me so much. Glory be the day!

However, the food is one thing but cleaning up their litter tray and dealing with their shit- defiantly comes hand in hand with cleaning up vomit! As most will know, cleaning up vomit is not a daily task, (unless you work in a hospital or something) which I do not but those two tasks rank the highest on my list of, ‘OMG this is rank!’

The cat litter needs to be done almost everyday. I swear to god these cats have a shit marathon each and every night. It must be their favourite thing to do, just shit, shit shit all night!

I love you but omg! Hurry the fuck up and learn how to jump the fence and go take a shit in my neighbours’ gardens!!

It almost feels like I pour out one load of shit into a bowl to then scoop shit out of another one.

Yes yes yes, I wanted cats so I just need to suck it up! But wow how can something so cute, be so smelly!!

THE END

I had to use the bathroom - again.  It was so cold the lino stung my feet, must find my bed socks, probably at the end of the duvet.  When I came out he was there, “are you all right?”  Stupid question. “Yep, I’m fine.”  We got back into bed and he put his arms around me pulling me closer.  The heat from his body enveloped me snugly just like being covered in an electric blanket.  I felt safe and warm in his strength and love.  I don’t know how long, but we both heard my breathing slow and soften, no grasping, wheezing or gagging.  The comfort I feel is immeasurable knowing love and sharing love.  Not the past, that is just anchors dragging you back, not the future as that is uncertain but the present, here, now.  The joy that laying in your lovers arms can bring is so wonderful, like Spring when the trees are turning green again.  Like the birds happily chirping at the return of the sun.  I don’t know how long, days, months but if I can stay like this moment at the end it will be blissful, happy and warm.

written by my mum :o)

THE POKE

Recent events got me thinking about face book, poking and other social Internet sites. (This might be long so I hope you have a cup of tea or something!)  This is purely my own thoughts and outlook on the topic, so I hope not to offend.

Face book – well face book and the actions, behaviour that are displayed or not displayed on there is a psychological wet dream. Whilst looking at and wanting to understand behaviour of people, face book can just high light the best and worst parts of people. (For me I like to play games and to be nosey and let the world know what I am doing, now and then but sometimes face book, can do one!)

I think I can safely say that most people use face book but if not, have in fact heard of it or even tried to participate in it. As most know there is an option to ‘poke’ people you know and people you do not know. (I randomly poke no real reason but as there are so many reasons to poke someone I like to keep people wondering)

The poke – now this was, I feel, very clever as it can mean so many different things. A poke to a family member could be seen as a hello. To an old school friend, a poke – do you remember me? You might see someone rather attractive – poke – hello, how you doin’? A flirt, a hello, a prompt – very clever.  It can be misunderstood of course. Poking the wrong person! Some people might not like it. (Can you see me pulling a face?)

The games and other sites that link via face book always make me laugh. Most games insist you have a billion friends but yet they frown upon members adding random people just for games! Sponsored sites and single ads (groan)

What does your face book say about you? When you add someone new and you look at their page and you see they play games, swear, flirt and participate in single social links on face book. Do you draw an opinion of that person?  Are people aware that they are in fact being judged? Could this be why many might think twice about posting their thoughts? How many have deleted a post as they felt a certain person might see? Yes! My own cluster fuck of over thinking! ( some might remember that I added someone a while ago that accepted my friends request but after seeing my picture and then realising I am over weight they quickly un-friended me!)

I have my own personal experience with face book, while in a relationship. It can be quite dicey. As it is considered a portal into the past, present and future, people and places, it can cause a person anxiety and bring in to play their own personal self esteem issues. How many have been annoyed as their partner sits on face book?

I for one have been one of those people. As the net is one shady fucking place! I have divulged the fact I use chat rooms and or social sites. I have nothing but conclusion on them, in a way it has made me very cynical about social sites altogether. Yet, I still use them! The why and how I use them is constantly changing. However, what I thought I would find there has disappeared like a fart in the wind.

(That reminds me my computer keeps making a weird noise -_- ) so my Saturday morning thoughts are as always a never ending of banquet of over thinking bollocks! Just think, all that you just read was in my busy busy head! I would like to tell you it was the only thing I was thinking about but I can not.

Morning! I have not written for a little while and this post might show that it all bottles up a tad. I still have not heard anything from the job I applied for L I still hold out hope!  

My pussycats, I recently acquired the sister kitten of Holly. My son decided to call her Molly. I was calling her smelly Elly for a while as she was – smelly. They are around 10 weeks now, de-wormed – de flea-d and settled in... They are both so cute and funny but incredibly stupid kittens but I am so glad I got them both. I was woken up by Molly; she was sitting on my pillow leaning on my head, licking my spam! Nice!

Here are a couple of pictures of them both.

Holly

Molly

Molly & Holly

No real plans for this cold frosty Saturday, maybe some poker later, some course work to be done then a movie and my own home made lasagne tonight. Yes, I know I live on the edge don’t I! Have a fantastic Saturday J

Mel

MELLY PETRIFIED

I might have mentioned before that I have masochistic tendencies. Basically when something scares me or causes me panic and anxiety I quite often go at it like a raging bull. Stupid perhaps but hey that is me. I refuse to spend time worrying and over thinking what might happen so I just run into the problem to deal with it.

This morning I woke with that feeling at warranted a grown. I didn’t have a great night sleep due to the wind and rain and the inability to breathe through my nose. My lips are sore and my mouth feels yukky! At the back of all my morning moans there it was the biggest one of all. Get a job!

So I pulled the laptop into my bed and had a little search online. My friend at college told me about a place that was recruiting. So I looked them up and low and behold I found something that screamed out to me. I did not even think about it I just sent an email requesting more information but spectacularly indicated I had pervious experience in the job advertised. (Truth!) Within an hour I got an email back asking me for my CV. I had one of them, ‘A CV?!!??’ moments. You know I don’t have a CV! What a Pratt! So I quickly researched what a CV is supposed to entail and what it is set out like and I got to work. Took me just over and hour and I was pretty impressed with myself.

Now you have all seen I can create a movie of pictures, I can be a bit of a wiz on word. So I have faith in the CV that I sent 30 minutes ago.

Of course the idea of going to work scares the crap out of me but rather than waste the whole day worrying about the when, how, where, and who. Fuck it I went for it. This job is perfect for me! They will be silly not to offer me the job! So please, fingers crossed!

However! If I do get an interview I will be truly and utterly fucked. As I really do not have anything to wear!!

GOODBYE 2011.. HELLO 2012

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!