THE EMPATH IN ME

THE EMPATH IN ME

I've spoke about me so much on my blog but still wonder if anyone really knows me. I ask this question out loud today not because I am a narcissist but because I have only really started to know me so how could I assume others do? I find myself in a situation that has me stumped. So if I can't figure out  'who am I and what does that mean to me?' How could any of my nearest and dearest ever utter such as bold claim as to the knowing of me? 

Me, is an empath. Correction. Me, thinks it's an empath. Me, has researched this gift and spoke to others that feel as me does. Me, was called an empath at a party some 15 years ago. When me was asked why me does not drink. " I don’t need to drink, I can feel drunk off everyone here. I seem to absorb the feelings around me like a sponge." 15 years ago! Maybe longer. 

Some might think this is a load of bollocks, flimflam, utter nonsense. That’s up to them. There is a difference between being empathic and being an empath.  

The answer google with give you. 

On the surface, being an empath seems very similar to feeling empathy because an empath also have the ability to share someone else's experience. However, empaths tune into another living creature's experience intuitively, without relying on external cues to do so. 

Me - I can literally feel your feelings. I can sense the emotion from you and it can get stronger the closer to you I am. And not necessary in presence. Sometimes when thinking deeply about someone I can kinda sense if there is a strong feeling at the other end and can sense and identify ( now) emotion that’s not my own. This is very tiring and can change how I feel instantly.  

Have I ever rang you unexpectedly or been to see you or said, just had a feeling? Or called me spookie for knowing something? It took such a long time to recognise different feelings. To understand what was mine and what was around me. How to try and home into someones feelings so I could 'sense' the emotion over the actions or body language that didn’t make sense. It was a confusing time. I soon learnt not to try and sense someone else's feelings too deeply. 

It took me many many years to work this out. I was drawn to the feelings of others and for a few years I actually thought I was destined to be a counsellor.  I felt such a strong reaction to the different feelings and situations that changed how people felt. Allowing me to lower my walls to understand myself. This in turn allowed me to see that being a counsellor was not my direction. I was too sensitive for it. I felt everything around me and I felt every second of anxious thoughts, feelings, grief, despair, regret, guilt, pain, hopelessness, frustration and self loathing. Too sensitive? Or aware of my limits perhaps. It was emotionally and physically exhausting and felt me confused and drained. 

The more I studied the more I could identify my own feelings again I could separate the difference in feelings. I could desensitise to others and home in on my own. I feel this was one of the best things that could of happened to me.  

Rrecently I am reacting to a feeling or situation that I can sense.  I can't explain or work out the emotion or feelings of the sense and I cannot work out where it Is coming from. I seem to sense this feeling daily- now -and sometimes it is strongest when I am physically closer to my son.  

I'll figure it out. It's not the most uncomfortable of senses but I know when its there and when it's gone. So strong but different, so different. Anyways. There is a bit of me right there. Take it, leave it, throw it away.  

Love from  

Me