FRIDAY

Friday….

Well I am not even sure where this week has gone but gone it has J this is a good thing I feel.

The summer holidays have blazed off to a great start and I seem to have adopted another child for the holidays. This is not a big deal mind, he is a sweet lad and Robert really enjoys his company as much as he enjoys Robert’s. I am going to have to see what happens over the next few weeks I am sure.

As August fast approaches and birthday week looms, I find myself skinty skinty poos. I have cards and pressies for all those who has a birthday next week (expect myself of course lol) should be nice all the same.

I recently enquired about some volunteer work for the charity ‘MIND’. MIND is a mental health charity and counselling service. I was sent out a volunteer pack and was asked to get all parts filled in for a training course to start in the summer 2011. The lady I spoke with was eager for me to get the application in. So I went on to fill out the form, only to hit a couple of small snags.

Do I have criminal convictions?

I don’t know do I?

Not as an adult but I was cautioned as a teenager. Does that count?

I have to agree to being vetted and that is not a problem. But is a caution for shop lifting a criminal conviction?

Plus I have to have 2 referees that can provide my stability for working around vulnerable people. Now normally I think this would be piss easy, yet all the professional people I feel that I could ask (outside of family) are now off on the six weeks holidays and are now difficult to track down. However, I do know a police officer and was told if you get a police officer to put their name on your form this will show good things (Upstanding member of community ect, ect) and if I could get them to sign off and vouch for my stability then great. Or so I thought. So I ask in advance would you mind being a referee for me la la la. and he was all like yea sure no problem. So I sit and wait for him to give me details to put on my form. I figure I would ask HIM about the criminal convictions thingy. (He's old bill after all!) This is where it all went wrong. I offered up the information that I was arrested as a teenager and he soon back tracked his offer to be a referee for me. As I was cautioned at the age of 14, this puts me at a risk of re offending. So he would not vouch for me because of this.

Now I was absolutely fucking LIVID at this BULLSHIT. He tried to make nice with sorry and its not that I think you should not do this. I pipe up well yea, because you even said yourself that putting your name on this form says you vouch for me. And that you not putting your (wanky cunty) name on my form suggests you will not vouch for me because of something I did years ago, so thanks and bye. And off I stomp. I have spoken to a couple of people about this and everyone that I have with agrees that this guy is a TOTAL DICK. Now I maybe wrong in thinking this and he totally had the right to say no. Now if he felt I was a risk to other people then he should have come out and said that. As I feel, this is the only reason he should not have put his name on the application. But because I had a caution (or three) when I was 14 (19 years ago) he would not put his name on my application for the fear that if I was to be naughty now, he would lose his job and pension. I have not even got caught for speeding, I don’t fucking drink. OMFG seriously, AM I BEING A TOSSER here or what? Because I can not see what the problem is?

So now I have had to stalk my tutor from college and I have asked a dear friend that has known me over a decade to vouch for my stability to work with MIND.

Now this has allowed me to over think. Should I even bother? Why does what I did as a child reflect on me now as an adult? How many other people see me as a bad person because I fucked up? Really is this the world I brought my kids into? Maybe I am over thinking the actions of a TOTAL DICK but I have to allow the idea that he is right, surely?

I want to help people; I want to give my free time to a cause I feel is important. It feels kind of shit, the idea that someone might see me as not stable or trustworthy enough to work with people that need and want comfort and help. I can’t help but have confidence issues at this point. I can understand that some people may not trust me for the things I have done and said as an adult so this has made me re think if this whole direction is for me. I am more aware of my actions than ever so I feel that I should be trusted and seen as the person I am today.

Did I just try and justify myself then. Maybe, I really should not have to. Maybe I should tell the people that don’t trust (because they don’t make time to know me) to do one?

However, that aside I have continued to fill in the form (cautions included) and I am just waiting on my tutor to  OK her name on my form and I will be taking the application down there myself. If I get shooed away then so be it but I am not, not going to try because of someone else.

I can’t help but feel bad at this point L

I am still waiting on my assignment results. I feel I kicked arse on this assignment so I am excited to get my results, even if they are shit. I am proud of my work on this one, it might not totally fit in with that the OU want but I enjoyed it all the same. Not the subject so much as it was rubbish. Results any day now J

FACEBOOK APP

http://www.facebook.com/apps/application.php?id=226552354049056

SPEC SAVERS vs. THE NHS

SPEC SAVERS vs. THE NHS

Now this has been going on 6 weeks now and it’s starting to piss me right off.

The fact of the matter is this. Charlie, my son who is 6 years old, has an abnormality in his left eye. His pupil is the shape of a teardrop and disappears under his eyelid as it seems to pull up and to the left. Normally while light is hitting it. Now they say this is nothing to worry about and to treat it as a birth mark. Recently I went to Spec Savers ( tossers) and they say he has a stigmatism in his left eye, so he needs glasses, they also say his sight in this eye is not great, his right eye however is perfect. So I had questions like

Is his sight affected because of his pupil?

Will it get worse?

How can we protect his good eye?

The bright light, normally the sun, makes him squint; can we protect his eye from the light?

Spec Savers (tossers) were not very fourth coming in comforting my concerns. I asked that he be referred back to the eye hospital as now he has to wear his glasses every single day and for everything. This fact made me sad.

So we get the referral to the eye hospital. Now we were under them before when he was born. His pupil fascinated the hospital and they wanted to keep an eye on his development. He was discharged when they felt his eye shape would not cause him problems. He was tested for most things, just to make sure he could see and that he was not colour blind. The hospital (grrrr) suggested that this kind of abnormality came with a speech problem. But as Charlie grew up they see this was not the case.

So back to the eye clinic. They re test his eyes and confirm with what Spec Savers said. They agreed that Charlie’s eye needed to be protected from sunlight and gave me a NHS voucher for re-active lenses. Now they could have given him tinted glasses, but I felt this would set him aside the other children in his class by having tinted eye wear. (The fact the boy is a ginger nugget is enough for him to battle LOL) Or he would have to have 2 pairs of glasses and change them over constantly. Now he is 6, so leaving them places and breaking them is a higher risk. So I felt yes, one pair of specs that changed to the light would be perfect.

However, Spec Savers (spit) say no. Even though the NHS had written a voucher for this requirement they still refused to do it for free. They wanted us to pay 40 quid for the re-active lenses. I said no way, it’s on the NHS and so it should be free. We ordered the normal glasses and then went about our day.

Monday we had to revisit the eye hospital. We turned up with Charlie’s new glasses that my self and his dad have had nothing but trouble with. Getting Charlie to wear these glasses has become a task and a half. He constantly rubs his eyes and looks over or under the lenses. I asked him repeatedly if they hurt or was uncomfortable. He didn’t seem to complain so much as just didn’t want to wear them.

So they test his bad eye, covering his good eye to hear him say ‘I can’t see’ and so they change the size of the letters ‘I can not see, it’s blurry.’ They take the glasses away and tell us that his left eye was meant to be 0.25 and they are at 2.50. This is a big mistake and told us to go back to Spec Savers (punch) and get them changed. They told us that Charlie should go back to his old glasses until I receive a new voucher that I can take where ever I wish. I spoke to them about the refusal of re- active lenses on the NHS and she said she would look into it for us.

So I march on down to Spec Savers, I ask for the manager and get the same bird I had to annoy about the re-active lenses. (Great) She remembered me and checked the glasses. She stood there claiming they done to what the prescription was asking. So she passed the buck to the NHS. I asked if she wanted to ring the eye hospital and she did. Now from where I was standing, it sounded like she ‘yes’d’ the women to death on the phone and said she would sort it out her end. But when she got off the phone she point blank refused the re-active lenses all over again. And then… said the glasses were of the prescription the NHS gave and so there is nothing to do.

I soon turned on my heels and was out of there. Livid of course.  

What the fuck is up with the world? What if we had paid out 40 quid for the re-active lenses, we would have been stuck with glasses that he could not use. What fucking pricks!

So I am waiting for a new voucher to take to another eye specialist and hopefully get glasses that he can see out of! And maybe get someone that will push for the re-active lenses on the NHS.

I know I am ranting on and this subject pisses me off no end. I hate that I have to wear glasses. I too have a stigmatism so I can not get cheapo contact lenses or else I would have them. But they cost a lot of money that I have not got. I hate that they are not helping my son with the care of his eyes. Why could they not give him the right prescription and the re-active lenses and then deal with the cost with the NHS. It just pisses me off the way they all want to cover their own arses. What about my son’s eye FFS!

* Deep breath*

Anyway... that’s my moan on that subject… my next blog is to cuss out the friendship with police officers…. Stay tuned.

HELLO AGAIN

Hello again one and all. I have had an amazing few days. The weekend was awesome and I would love to blog about it.

The weekend was spent with my family and it was great! I had the chance to stay in a swanky hotel in Colchester and it was very swanky indeed. I am waiting for some pictures to be uploaded of the amazing food there, ( yes of course food related – because I do loves me grub) anyway, Jacuzzi, sauna and swimming, a great family party, although some parts of that were awkward, mainly because I did not hardly know any one. I was the designated driver for the evening so my parentals could have a drinkypoo. I am not sure if they had a really good drink but better to be safe than sorry. My dad came out with some quality jokes throughout the night. The peoples whose party it was had a lovely big garden and managed to fit a marquee in there. (Impressed) however, having tables and chairs on grass can sometimes cause a problem, like the legs of the chairs sinking into the grass, suddenly realising you are leaning forward. Then to see, the table is pissed from people leaning on it and that too is sinking into the grass. It was a nice night a little cold, but they had a heater in the marquee and it was facing right at us, this of course was great to start. Until, it was just too hot. There was some undressing from coats and cardies to sitting there hot red flush faces and even sweating. Amazing time had by all. Then, the drive back, now those that know me best know that I do not rest much faith in the 'tom tom' – sat nav= bollocks, I am a map and look it up girl. I would rather get lost and find my way around. So my parents having a tom tom was well fun ( not) specially when it stops talking and my drunken father decides to tell me in a drunken animated voice 'left in 400 yards,' left in 300 yards' left in 200 yards' left in 100 yards' then 'left left left,' every.. single.. time I need to turn off a road. Then…. Then I still managed to go the wrong way (according to my dad) I got us back safe but still drunken parents are sometimes fun and amusing. Sometimes you wish you could stick them in the back seats and turn up the music to drown all the silliness out! (No offence mum and dad I love ya deeply  J )

My next blog will have allot of swearing and cussing about fucking spec savers..... stay tuned.

THE EMAIL

Now i am not sure how all this works but, this email i received today i feel needed to be put out more than my lame hotmail list.. so here it is..

Dear Mr. Cameron.

Please find below our suggestion for fixing England 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new British car. Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week ..... and there's your money back in duty/tax etc

6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know. If not, please disregard.

Grumpies of the World Unite

Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.

Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

COWS

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?

And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow..

THE BRITISH CONSTITUTION

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq ... Why don't we just give them ours?

It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for centuries and we're not using it anymore.

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or Parliament, is this -

You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians.....

It creates a hostile work environment.

Also;

Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk to speak up!

MOANY MOAN MOAN

Moany moan moan

Yes and its not even Friday and I am on one.

My fucking pain in the arse car is causing my head to feel like someone is sitting on it.

It failed its MOT on Wednesday (free MOT from Toomey Peugeot free while I own the car)

Free my arse, the coffee was not free and no wi fi while I waited the hour and a half to hear it failed because my passenger door didn’t open from the outside. This was something I was aware of but forgot all about. :os (my bad) but still, free MOT is not free if it fails. So retest I have to pay. They can not fix my car as it’s a ford and they are a Peugeot dealer. Great, thanks tossers.

So I fly down to the local garage and they look at me like I should be able to fit it myself. Then make a lot of grunting noise and then mumble, maybe next Thursday to fit it. Cheers pal poke it.

I pick up the boy from school and go home thinking tomorrow. While I go home I notice a crack on my windscreen (fucking great) so it’s small like a rain drop but its right under my windscreen wiper blade so they can not inject their resin into the hole.

I roll on down to auto glass at 8 am this morning to hear the same shit they told me on the phone

“Are you fully comp” they ask. Erm no, I am not because that would of meant my car insurance being another 500 quid (silly me what was I thinking)

So new screen maybe 200-300 quid. But he tells me if it was my car I would wait till it gets bigger then replace the screen. Don’t worry though the glass will not cave in on you. (I feel so much safer)

So I roll out of there and into the garage I used before (the one not far from poo alley) and they take my car straight away, its just a bit of plastic won’t take long it’s a common problem. So I leave my car, key and phone number and thank god I have boots on as I side step some more dog shit on my way home. It was quite appropriate that I had my mums ‘grumpy’ jacket on. I was more than pissed off. I asked him how much. 40 quid for the part plus labour. It shouldn’t be much.

(SHOULDN’T BE MUCH!??!!)

COCKSUCKERMOTHERFUCKERRRRR!!!

So, I then step up to the post office, draw out all the money I have in there, to cover my car costs for today. So now I have fuck all and 7 days till all my bills go out. This is utter bollocks!

So excuse my foul mood, as I wanted it to be fixed today so I could drive down to Toomey Peugeot and tell them retest free the next day. But as the time ticks on and now it’s almost 4pm its looking like that sodding car is about to cost me another 30 quid.

I am sure I am not the only one that has issues.

I woke up in a pissy mood anyways. I want to hug my family members right now. So much going on and the car annoys me.

I had to buy some coolant for my car the weekend. I only needed about 60mls but no I had to buy 2 fucking litres of the shit at 11.99 for a cup full. Grrrrrrr!!!!

The six weeks holidays are of to a winning start. That concludes my moan for today; oh I can’t wait to see what fucking Friday brings.

Menstrual Monday

Menstrual Monday

So now that I have finished my assignment and feel 90% pleased with it (I have to add some bits in the morning) I feel pretty good about my work right now.

First off. What a wanky shitty weekend? The rain the rain... flow came to town. I still maintain I am being ovary punished you know.

I think I shall need to start my own glossary-y of Mel words. I seem to have made up some spin off words from the dictionary (<-you should have seen how I spelt that before the spell checker changed it)

So I said I would be back to moan and complain about my not winning the lottery. I would not take anything away from the winners of the 166 million quid; I hear they are losing money daily from waiting to cash the cheque lol too funny.

Now I thought long and hard, as I am sure most of you did. Day dream about all that money and what you would do for yourself and your family members (even the ones that piss you off) I would of sorted out all family members.

The thing is though I would give everyone about 2 years of happiness before all the people that complained about money being the only thing they need in life to make them happy. 2 years and then the fighting and complaining will be back.

Not gaining enough interest on their millions

Investing money and it going bust

Having massive gambling addictions

Drinking and drug problems

Relationships fucking up left right and centre because of the money.

Money can go fuck its self! That is not to say I wouldn’t enjoy my holidays in Barbados and Florida, and I would enjoy my 30 cars to choose from and my 78 bed room mansion that looked out over lake Melissa. I would still go in ASDA and get a t shirt for 1 pound 50. I would be one tight bitch lol

Money can cause just as many problems as not having money.

I would still be single if I won the lottery, as then I would only be loved for my money. I would so have a boob job and a nip tuck.

This would not stop the fact the minute I opened my mouth I would probably sound more Essex girl than ever.

Money is the route of all evil I tell you now!

Would you lend me a tenner! J

Only joking!

If I had won the euro millions, I would have employed you all and I would of paid you stupid amounts of money just to read my blog. Of course that would mean you would all be my bitches! Mwhahahahah!!

Sexual inter-office relations are prohibited!

No unnecessary use of the photo copier!

SERIOUSLY DEEP

TOO DEEP!?!

I know I can be pretty deep. I think this is something some family members have seen for years. I can be freely comical and take the piss. I can rant about bullshit and I can have a point about something I believe in. all these things make me human. But my high is high and my low is low... Sometimes I wonder am I too deep or is this something I should embrace as part of me? So….

I started my blog because I love to write, I was advised to write daily if I was serious about writing and drawing from personal experiences is often the best kinds of writing.

Yet, I sat hesitating whether or not to blog today. I hesitated because I wondered if it was too personal. Then I thought about what my blog means to me, and it is what I say on the top.

A PLACE WHERE I CAN SIMPLY BE.

…So… my over thinking….I guess on some level this is a good thing but then it can be seen as something dangerous. My thinking, or over thinking, situations or problems often lead to something coming to a head. (I call this digging for an answer) This in turn is something I feel is productive as it makes the problem/ situation more understandable or even make the problem disappear.

I have been told a number of times I should not over think things and I should relax. In some cases my over thinking has been plentiful and has helped many situations be resolved. So when something feels natural to do and has at times, not always had a fantastic result but has lead to an honest outcome for all parties, how and why should you stop doing it?

My over thinking seems to cause a lot of problems for other people as much as for myself. I want to live an honest life and I wish to know what I can do to help, adjust or change something I can. In a lot of cases there is not much I can do but where I can... I will.

I had a moment of enlightenment and have seen something that I might have not wanted to see before. But now that I see it I am happy to deal with it. However, the fall out of that causes pain and discomfort for another person.

Dilemma? I am not sure. We have to be happy with our life right, as we are the only ones in our life’s that can do/change/ adjust certain aspects of it.

I have been called many things over my 32 years of life, for the things I do and say. I have been called selfish more than once.

Is looking after myself selfish?

I have openly confessed to having narcissistic and masochistic tendencies, I feel that sadomasochism is now something I can add.

Self discovery is a bitch but understanding the ‘why’ is what is important.

Many of you might be thinking what the fuck are you on about Mel?

Then here it is. I have often wondered about human behaviour and the why behind it. The over thinking and wanting to know the, ‘why’ has fizzled out many friendships and relationships. My first question the first time I sat in the client chair was ‘why’. Why am I alone?

I am sure everyone has an opinion on this. I have and shall continue to search to find the answer, today I just got a little peek into why. I allow myself to enter into things and situations that cause me pain and discomfort. A lot of family members know that I have radar for the most fucked up people on the planet. It has become a joke amongst us that I can sure pick em. Often I enter into these things for the wrong reasons. Simply I have to stop doing this. Ha lol how do you change a habit of a lifetime?

‘I could have told you that Mel for fuck sake!’…..I hear you yell.  I know, I know, sometimes you just have to see it and feel it for yourself.

TIT’S ON TOAST

TIT’S ON TOAST

Sorry for the random inappropriate thread title.

I am not feeling myself today.

So I have had around 3 bad nights sleep this week. Nightmares, that ranges from, being on the top floor of a sky scraper that the wind is blowing over, to being set on fire, to a man sleeping in my garden, to a dog trying to climb the wall to get in the window.

For all you Freud wannabe’s out there I am sure you know what my dreams mean lol I already have an idea of what my subconscious is telling me.

However last night (Wednesday Night) as I curled up into my bed around 1.30 am, I was sure that I would be going into night mare land. I had reheated pizza just before bed and I had just spent the last 3 plus hours in the cinema watching transformers 3, in 3D……

Just quickly let me say...

Fuck me sideways! At the prices! Now, I may well be naïve about something’s but the last time I took notice of the price of the tickets, was when I booked online back last year and it cost £7.50 per seat, plus that included the charge for paying online but you get an upgrade to ‘premium’ seating.

(There are 4 levels of seating at Basildon)

One... a bean bag right at the front,

Two… the what I call ‘normal’ seats. Slightly uncomfortable but bearable...

Three… then ‘premium seating’ (my upgrade) which are wider and they kind of recline a tad.

Four...Then, there are ‘executive seats.’

These babies are leather recliners with not just a cup holder, no no no.! Here in Basildon we are so sophisticated, here we get a pop corn bucket holder too! Weeeee.. Those seats are like a tenner I think. Anyway. Twenty fucking five quid, to watch a movie, three fucking pound and fifty fucking five pence, for a medium diet coke!  The popcorn drink combo was eight fucking quid!

When did this happen??? OMFG!

I love going to the flicks but holy shit.

Yes I am aware I said (just quickly) and I am rambling off track but still!.....

I did say to a family member recently that it costs over 100 quid to go out a date these days. I heard some cussing of ‘bullshit’ but I can’t be sure. Well I am telling ya... you do need to be minted to do anything… Twenty! Fucking five quid!  I can not be the only one that thinks this is sick.

ramble ramble ramble…

The movie was good, action, action action. But the length of it makes you wish it had a pause button. As for the 3D aspect of it all, I have to wear glasses to really appreciate a good movie. So wearing the 3D glasses as well don’t really allow me to experience the 3D in all its extraordinary splendour. You have to sit upright and straight ahead, sitting directly in front of the screen. Of course, after 2 hours of the ‘normal’ seats

( TWNETY FUCKING FIVE FUCKING QUID AND YOU DO NOT GET A FUCKING PRIVATE BOOTH, OR HAVE GRAPES PEELED AND FED YOU. WHILE THE LEATHER RECLINER MASSAGESYOUR ENTIRE BODY! PFFFFFFF)

. (Cough) what I mean is, after a while in them lovely well made ‘normal’ seats you tend to move around a tad. I rested my head on anything soft but that blurred my vision for the 3D. Which is a shame as 3D with the right movie can be awesome. (I still maintain the last part of Harry Potter looks fucking EPIC!) And to make things double annoying, they are going play back to back Harry Potter, Part One then Part Two straight afterwards. It starts at 9.30pm till 2.20 am tonight (Thursday) corrr I would have love love loved! To go see that! Plus... omg PLUS that double showing is LESS than what it cost to see Transformers! Now tell me how that works?

3D is not worth that much. Not for me anyway. I hear they are bringing in 4D now anyway. Where you get wet and have air blown up your bum, or you chair will move. Remind me not to go see a SAW movie in 4D.

Wonder how much them fuckers at VUE will charge for that shit!

LOL can’t get any more random than that. So …. Like I was saying …. I thought that I would have a night mare for sure last night… anyway... I didn’t! I had a dreamless sleep J happy days. I was woken up at 6 am by a little ginger bloke with a warm cuddle and lovely kisses… no better way to wake up J

I am definitely feeling the effects of interrupted sleep today though. Duvet day!!

Friday is fast approaching... the weekend will follow. Not much planned this weekend. Lots of washing and house / garden shit to do, finish my assignment. I have about 15 hours of TV shows taped that I have yet to see. 

What are the rest of you guys and gals doing this weekend?

P.S I have not heard anything from family members the last few days... this makes me nervous as normally I hear something some where. Maybe I just don’t know because I have not checked face book. Or maybe… one of my family members won the euro millions and I shall receive my plane ticket and invite to Barbados via special delivery today. Well here is hoping (HA) I shall rant on about the LOTTO another time. Sausage sandwich needed!

Have a terrific Thursday people….. J

CHARLIE'S MOVIE

So those who know Charlie best will understand that he wanted his own movie made. I got sick of him bug bug bugging. So I have just thrown together some of Charlie’s bits. He picked some of his pictures and the song! lol again this will not surprise most of you.

So please enjoy Charlie’s Movie. And thank you again for supporting my blog J

http://youtu.be/XrAr73GAgu0

Mel's Moan on Monday..

It is Monday today .. right?

I feel pleased that this is the only moan I have today.

I finally got a chance to really use power point, for it to crash my entire computer losing all my work. Ho Hum... gave me a chance to eat my almond magnum while my P.O.S computer spent the best part of an hour trying to recover it’s self!

As for my lost work... all I can say to that is;

COCKSUCKERMOTHERFUCKER!!

Take two will start tomorrow... and at least I will know how to do everything a little quicker and save it every 4 minutes... just in case!

Sunday night thought

Sunday nights thought

…..

You can have sex without the relationship but you can not have the relationship without the sex.

Please comment on this...

Pain

Pain.. Now I find this concept interesting as I have started to believe that everyone’s tolerance level for pain is from what pain they have experienced in their life.

I say this as I feel I have a minus 8 pain threshold and I truly believe this is because I never experienced child birth. Not a single contraction. (Hahahah) but then I have read countless forums that ask:

‘What hurts more, a kick in the balls or child birth?’

Now, being as I have no balls to kick and my tits don’t even compare I could not possibly know. However,  as most men that have had a kick in the balls, ( and I mean premeditated kick in the balls not a opps you kneed me in the balls by mistake) I mean full on kick in the balls,  would that pain, be top of the list of most painful things to ever have experienced?

Toothache is something we can all feel... so no one can use that one. Having a limb torn off is something we all could feel if we are unlucky enough. so I say., child birth is only something that women can feel and having a toe in the ball sack is something only a man can feel.

I have heard that a man passing a kidney stone is equally as painful. Would this tally up the pain for childbirth? I mean passing a stone though your cock must sting a tad.  

So I ask the people of the world. What hurts more...?

What you would say levels the man vs. women pain debate...?

Does having physical pain regularly build up a tolerance to it, or will it always just hurt like a son of a bitch?

Now a man may argue that a kick in the balls is now something you neither want nor ask for, yet having a baby is for most, a choice. So women should not moan about the pain they go through as for the reward is a baby that they have wanted. I get that is valid... however, that’s not the bloody point!

I want to know what the most painful pain is for a man that is equalled to the most painful pain for a woman.

Please enlighten me with your thoughts…

Movies, movies, movies!

Everyone loves a good movie. Recently I see a few that were good, some bad, and some just terrible…

The green lantern – Ryan Reynolds is super hot but the movie was lame! If you do choose to watch this movie make sure you watch all the credits as there is an extra bit. So many people missed it as they were gone the second it finished! Typical! I was still there... because I erm... I lost my glasses! J My rating – 3/10 purely because Ryan Reynolds is shhhwing!

The priest –Paul Bettany-crap! Sorry but I like my vamps to be more seductive and handsome looking. The priests them selves, very clever but on the whole kind of pointless my rating 2/10

Skyline – bunch of unknowns- what a waste of time and money! 0/10 don’t even bother

The last air bender – who cares- I didn’t even finish this movie... what a loud of crap – unrated!

Harry Potter – The deathly hallows part one -Daniel Radcliff- I am a true Harry potter fan but I found this part (although necessary) incredibly unadventurous. However, the final part looks fucking epic! And I will be going to the cinema to see it; I will even wear silly 3D glasses too! 5/10

Source Code - Jake Gyllenhaal, I am going to give this movie 10/10 even though I have not even seen it. Sorry but any excuse to gawk at Jake Gyllenhaal for 90 minutes wins for me! 10/10

Limitless – Bradley cooper-Loved this movie- loved it – great 8/10

Unknown – Liam Nelson – loved taken, loved this 8/10

The A Team – Liam Nelson- loved it, for its pure cheese and one liners... Still loved it 8/10

Scream 4 – same as 1, 2 and 3 lol over reaching a little but still enjoyed it -5/10

Transformers 3 – Dark of the moon -Shia LaBeouf... I am looking forward to watching this even though Megan Foxx is not in it. Premeditated rating 8/10

Movies, movies, movies!

Tuesday's thoughts..** MORE ADULT CONTENT***

Good morning to all.

Just want to say another thank you for anyone reading today. I have updated some aspects of the page. If you were not able to comment on posts before because you were not a member, I have changed that so anyone can comment. I also have added a reaction button . I am learning more and more about all this stuff and it’s great. I log in a lot to check things and look at things so I am starting to think the page views count at the bottom of  the page is just my log ins.

Advanced warning…

This Thread is about ….Spunk

Now for those of you that know me best. You know that I can waffle on about anything for a while. I can talk for 40 minutes about dog shit or the smell of cat food. So it will not surprise you that at some point in my life and I am not sure the when nor whom I was talking to, about spunk. We spoke of all the different names for it... here are some winners:

Fishes,

Baby juice

Man juice

Jeezy

Spunk

Cream

Load

Ball butter

Man milk

Sperm

Spooge

Baby batter

Jism

Come

Man juice

Man cream

Man milk

Spermicles

Man gravy

Home made yogurt

Love in liquid form

Home made love

Pumpkin Seeds

The other white meat

Almer's Glue

Mayo

***

Gism

Jizum Juice

Protein shake

Love juices

Pecker spit

Sexual mustard

Face Cream

Liquid Pearls

Face Paint

Hair spray

Albino lipstick

Protein injection

Penis puss

Cock Fizz

Pecker Juice

Twinkie Filling

Bavarian crème

Salty Yogurt

Rubber Cement

Home Squeezed Man Juice

Man root extract

Natural chloraseptic

Cream of mypenis

***

Jerkin juice

Toss sauce

Pud suds

Liquid Genetics

The genetic shower

Ball juice

Pecker snot

Special sauce

Shmeg!

Cock snot

Dick dribble

Cunt cookies

Gummy Bears!!!!

Ball sack bolognaise

Tockley tapioca

Cock Chowder

Cum

Baby gravy

Cupid's toothpaste

Gentleman's relish

Human bonding fluid

Man chowder

Population paste

That tasty non-dairy treat

Milk

Wad

Penis butter

Nut

Boy fluid

10cc

Lovin' spoon full

Man sugar

Manthrax

Cum pop

Jizzles

Jizz-o-frizz

Penis pudding

Man mayonnaise

Milk of mankind

Liquid kids

Love paste

Dong water

Man seed

Man-naise

Dork wax

Peckeroo paste

Penial seasoning

Grime

Diet jelly

Breast icing

Creamy mouthwash

Creamy cough syrup,

Citricum…

(Mr whippy)

I joked once that I should take spunk and turn it into a hair styling product or face cream. I also joked about what I could call the product and how easy it would be to find donors to supply the main ingredients.

spunk + Polyvinylpyrrolidone + N-vinylimidazole or maybe methacrylamid, (And yes these are real words, I can not say them out loud but they are words.) + aqua and some colorant...and away we go... I would be at a loss now as to know what to call this fine hair product.

Hair balm. <Maybe

It just accrued to me that I may have found a niche for spunk in my essay about rubbish consumption and its value or non value. I feel that now I have looked at spunk in greater detail, this organic substance has a lot of value yet so many disregards it so flippantly. On their hand, tummy, on their mates face, on boobs, up someone’s back, lobbed at passengers on the tube… (OK, OK I’ll stop)… in a tissue!  Would this not support the essay question?

 ‘To outline ways that rubbish can have value in consumer society?’

Ok maybe I am over reaching here. If I didn’t need to pass this ‘rubbish’ module then I would seriously consider investigating such evidence to support this theory. I wonder what the male population would think of their man gravy being worth more than a buck. Even, when it’s well funky.

Spunk: is an organic- untapped resource. It is high in protein, low in calories. Good for hair and skin.

My normal announcement applies to those that do not want to read profanities…