BREAKING DAWN SPOILER

********SPOILER ALERT********

Please excuse my over alliterated passion for the twilight series.

OK so you knew I would do this. However, can you really call yourself a Twilight fan if you have not read the books? Well half arsed Twilight fans (psh) who have not read the books are sure to love the hanger at the end of the movie. For those (true fans) that have read the book OR you want to know what happens, continue to read on. I have read the Twilight books (all for of them) maybe 4 or 5 times. Psh at you Twilight fans who have not read one book! – Hey that is how I feel on the matter… so sue me!

If you want a better understanding of Edward, look on Stephanie Mayer's website she posted her writing of twilight from Edwards perspective, but due to a leak of the start of the book ‘Midnight Sun’ she never published it L you can check that out by clicking HERE

Bella and Edward announce they are getting married. Jacob don’t agree and runs away for a  long time only to return on the wedding day where Bella lets Jacob know she intends to have sex with Edward while she is human. Jacob gets slightly miffed. On their honeymoon they get jiggie with it. This leaves Bella bruised and a bed destroyed from Edward’s passion and strength. They overcome the problem and have lots more sex. Bella gets knocked up. (So not a bastard child – just a blood drinking human!) The baby grows quick draining Bella of all life. So Bella dies, and the only way to save her is to pump her heart and blood stream with Edwards’s venom turning her in to a vampire. The baby is born and Jacob imprints on the baby girl (name I refuse to say) so thus the epic feud between werewolf and vampire dissolves. (They are now all BFF’s) the last 30 seconds of the movie, Bella’s appearance turns (from a skinning, dying, bad hair human woman) too a beautiful vampire, her heart beats until the last second of the movie, then her heartbeat stops and she opens her crimson eyes.... dramatic hanger.. After a roll of credits, the movie continues to tell us that the Voltorri have the news that Bella is now a vampire so basically up yours. But the Voltorri (Aro) – still intends to find a reason to harass the Cullen’s, as they have something he wants… Tadaaaaaa

MY TAKE ON IT

Love love love love loved it. They added some lovely humour in the wedding. Stephanie Mayer has a cameo as a wedding guest (shocker). The sex scenes were convincing. They did well to make her look so skinny and ill. Love love loved it!

I think OMG at her wearing heels and walking on the grass on her wedding day, turns out she had trainers on!  However, sadly some of the book was missed, Jacobs and Rosalie’s banter of 'Blondie and Dog'– missed L I laughed when in the book when she makes him a dog bowl and scraps the word 'fido' into it with her nail. It was not in the movie boo. For some reason Jacob had a shirt on for most the time (I mean what the fuck was that all about, don’t they realise that is reason warrant enough to see a movie regardless of the story?) anyway yes, loved it all the same!!! Can’t wait for next year to see the end part where we see Bella discover her talents as a immortal, a wife, and a mother, the struggles of having half human- half vampire child and the stigma and trouble that can cause. To get a better understanding on the concept that Stephanie Mayer has on the new born vampire people should read, ‘The short second life of Bree Tanner’ ( she was the girl that got killed at the end of Eclipse!… I won’t spoil any more for you, go read the fucking books!

I still maintain that if your body is made of glass and stone and you have no heart beat, how did he get a woody to do the bizzo? Anyway, it is fiction right?

I had a wonderful evening (thank you) We went to Westfeilds in Stratford, an amazing place I was impressed. massively busy and I got sore feet ( I know why now as well ) If I had taken my Christmas vouchers with me, I would have been sure to spend them all on shoes! a wicked evening! Although, life lesson 409! Having a low tolerance for dairy products and being nervous plus an overly rich creamy mushroom starters and main course, equals bad, bad and slightly embarrassing stomach problems, reactions and noises.

Just thought I would share that with you this fine Sunday evening. Toodlepip for now.