ACHOOOO

It was so calm; so quiet, I could hear the 3 birds that do live close to my house.  I could hear the cars travelling down the road. I lay stretched out enjoying the sunshine and the piece and quiet. Then out of no where, the loudest Achoooooooooooooo you had ever heard. So loud I swear they could hear it 3 towns over. It was so loud it scared the living shit out of me.

Cheers- Ryan!

I had forgotten he was even in the house. (Playing the Xbox) His sneeze startled me and it was not even in the same room as me.

Achooooooooooooooo

 Another one! Bloody hell Ryan can you sneeze a bit less loudly please?  I would like to say that this was one of the first times I have complained about Ryan’s sneezing but alas.

 I asked him many years ago,’ why o why do you have to allow your sneeze to be an almightily, out the nose and out your mouth?’ an a a a a a achooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  In reply he said,’ well I don’t mind sneezing so if ya going to do it, do it good.’  He then asked me,' why do you hold yours in?'

Anyone will know you can not simply hold a sneeze in. I do however squeak when I sneeze as I tense my whole body up so I do not explode in a massive achhhhhoooooooo. Does that lessen the sensation that sneezing induces? Not from where I sit. 

My face may well look all distorted and look very much like I am sucking on bitter lemons but I do this in order to lessen the outward sound of sneezing but the relief is still there.

Don’t get me wrong Ryan is a good lad but he dose suffer from gay fever – I mean hay fever and so the sneezing this time of year can start to grate. While in the car with him when he sneezes the sneeze is ear piercingly loud. While sitting minding your own business he will have a fit of 5 or 6 super loud super snotty sneezing. I wish I could tell you that it was only during the summer but when he has a cold he also sneeze's the same – snot and spittle being spread everywhere -  nice one Ryan.

achoooooooooo

I have been known to suffer on occasion with hay fever symptoms and some might remember last year I blogged about it.  I had only started to suffer recently and I would claim that I have a severe case. (Probably a normal case to veteran hay fever sufferers) but mine was a doosey.

My nose was like the never ending tap of snot, eyes didn’t stop watering and sneeze, sneeze sneeze all the way home.

achoooooooooooooooo

As many might know that 7 sneezes is the equivalent of an orgasm, so it is no hardship dealing with the sneeze. However, my nose did not stop running. So unattractive. In order to clear some of that mega snot, I would allow myself a full nose sneeze. Permitting my 102 miles per hours sneeze to blow through and clear out my nose (into a tissue of course).

Although, in true Melidiot fashion it will not surprise you that I have sneezed from my nose without a tissue.

Slightly embarrassing –totally –

Messy – extremely-

Refreshing – absolutely.

And so my moan about Ryan’s stupidly loud sneezing comes to an end.